Jealousy...

Best friend is pregnant.  One of the only two who know we have been trying is pregnant.  She was so scared to tell me and of course that made me feel awful, but at the same time I didn't feel I had to put on a pretend happy face and squeal.  I told her I was truly happy for her.  It's what she has been wanting and I prayed she would receive her wish.

Trying not to be jealous here, but to think positive instead...wouldn't it be amazing if I were pregnant this time around too? We could go through pregnancy together; laughing at the uncontrollable farting and sharing groans and moans for the discomfort.  I think it is ok to ask for prayers, so if anyone prays out there, please say a prayer for me.

Thanks for listening

It's a boy!

My sister and brother-in-law just called.  They are having a boy.  The first boy in our family.  Now I've gotta have twins to make any kind of impression. (jk)

Just talked with Dad.  The first thing out of his mouth was "another first".  All I heard was "another first that you didn't do...good luck"!  I know that's negative, but that's where I'm at.

On the positive side, I did not feel jealousy when she told me.  I felt joy and excitement for them both.  After having built a home at the beginning of this year, the Midwest floods have made it impossible to get to their new home. So, this is great news during what could be an extremely stressful time.  They are truly blessed to be having a healthy boy and I believe that is what I heard when listening to them tell me the big news.  Thank you God for their healthy baby boy and my future nephew.  I'm the first to be an aunt two times.  There's my first. There it is.

Ok...waiting on ovulation and getting out of town this weekend to relax. Scheduled a massage for Monday to continue the relaxation.  Crossing fingers that this will be our month...fingers are starting to look a little weathered from all the crossing, but they are hanging in there and so am I.

Update...

I'm lucky to have a friend like you!

Blessed with a blogging buddy who has missed my presence here in blogger land (thank you friend), I am reminded I need to post an update!  I'm completely fine, just lead a boring life and did not feel I had anything of interest to contribute lately. It's time to dust off the blog and get everyone caught up.  Here we go...randomly:

Husband was on call through the month of July, so we didn't get to go anywhere but as I previously mentioned, my family was in town so we spent a week visiting.  My niece was baptized and I can now add godmother to my list of life accomplishments (yay!).  The day was absolutely beautiful and Niece fell asleep moments before the ceremony, so that was a blessing too.  Thank you God for that special moment.  I feel so blessed to have that little girl in my life. Please let me be a good role model and someone she feels she can turn to when she needs anything.

Saw the last Harry Potter.  I won't say much other than I highly recommend you see it in the theater both for effect and come on...it's the last one!  It's worth the extra $5 or $7 to see it on the big screen.   :)

I am a HUGE movie watcher...and well, pathetically a t.v. junkie too. This one is two part:

1. Have been on a mission to see all of the Tyler Perry movies. I just love them.  They are like a really good Lifetime movie but much, much funnier. 
2. I'm worried the phrase "idiot box" is applying to me.  Since beginning our TTC, I find I retreat into t.v. and movies more than ever to avoid thinking about what I don't have.  My mind is mush.  Need to find a different hobby and fast. 

Last weekend, we attended a convention for Husband's favorite activity...hunting.  The smile on his face was what I imagine he looked like on Christmas morning as a child.  He was in heaven and it was so fun for me to see him so happy and excited.  

This weekend Husband has switched his work schedule so we can get away for a night.  The one time we were pregnant was right after returning from vacation.  While we can't take 4 days again this time, I'm hoping that 1 or 2 days will help me to relax.  I'm thinking of scheduling two massages over the next 4 weeks to see if that will help me stay in a relaxed state.  

Someday...

Pregnant sister's brother and sister-in-law had their first child.  A little baby girl.  Sister sent me phone pics of the new baby - she is gorgeous.  Her text messages exuded excitement and pride, and I couldn't help but think of the thoughts she must be having about her own little one on the way this December.  I cannot wait until I too cannot help but think those same thoughts about my own little bundle when our time comes.  *dreamy sigh*

I've ordered (and should receive tomorrow) a book by the same doctor that Giuliana and Bill Rancic visit on their show.  They have been dealing with infertility openly on their show and I find great comfort in Giuliana's amazing attitude about the whole process. The book is called Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility by David and Blakeway.  It sounds like it will be a natural, no-nonsense approach to baby making.  Even though I have read the Rancics are moving on to another round of in vitro, I'll let you know what I think and time will tell if what we tried works.

Last random thought:  During the last episode of Giuliana and Bill, Guiliana was at her sister's house helping her prepare for CHILD #4 (a challenge to be positive and excited about to an infertile anyway).  Her sister, family, and friends were all there helping and chatting about pregnancy while sorting through baby clothes.  I about died when Giuliana's young niece asked her if she was jealous of the other ladies who were getting pregnant while she wasn't!! The niece had no idea of the gravity of her question, but Giuliana answered with grace.  My eyes were full of tears for Giuliana, yet her strength gives me strength much like all of you out there in blogger land.  

Ok...that's it.  Now you are all caught up and can probably see why I have not posted recently as my life is pretty boring...work, eat, sleep, and sometimes play.  :)  Hope you have a great week!